Shattered Hearts
by BookmarkAHead
Summary: The phone continues to ring, but no one ever answers; no one ever picks up to tell me where you are, or where you went. Wherever have you gone? In this room where there is no one, I wish repeatedly, "I want to see you."
1. Shattered Hearts

_Warning: This is not like my other Yuru Yuri fanfiction, nor does it follow the lightness of the series. This is a relatively darker story, so read no further if you don't like reading of such things. _

_I mention the name Ilmatar several times. Ilmatar is the Finnish Goddess of the Wind and she is the higher being in all of my stories._

**_[Shattered Hearts]_**

_Even so, my tears hurt _

_Did it reach you? _

_To the singing voice _

_I lay out my final words _

_But the overlapping colors are blurred_

_Ring ... ring ..._

A hand is passed through strands of shiny blonde hair, disheveled in worry. Rain strikes the window with its gentle patter.

_Ring ... ring ..._

Come on, pick up! There HAS to be someone there! Just please ... please pick up. The more rings she counted, the more her anxiety rose. She had to know.

Ring ... ring ...

Everybody had been there, but why hadn't she come as well? The two groups, the Amusement Club, and the student council usually got together for important things such as these. At least she _thinks_ the gathering was important; they had all dressed up, so it must have been a big deal, right? She couldn't even remember what it was about; her memory had been rather hazy lately. She chuckled softly as she denied the fact that she wasn't remembering things was due to her age; she was only in middle school! She had plenty of time before time itself began its thievery of her memories.

But then _why _couldn't she remember what had happened there? More importantly, why hadn't _one friend in particular_ been there with her, and everybody else? It just didn't make sense.

Toshinou Kyouko suddenly realized with a start that the cell phone nestled against her ear had ceased making its ringing noise. Just like every other day she tried. Bringing the phone in front of her, she moved her fingers slowly across the buttons as she redialed the number. She could've hit the redial button, but her fingers had gotten so used to dialing this number that she didn't mind anyway. Besides, it took a little bit of time before the next disappointment; disguised as silence in the ear piece.

Bringing the phone back to her opposite ear, she surveyed her darkened room as the familiar ringing began to fill the air once more, accompanying the songs of the raindrops. Her room was surprisingly well kept, as she had had a lot of time on her hands lately, and cleaned and organized everything in order to pass the time. Her eyes flickered towards the door of the room and she momentarily considered trying it, but dismissed the idea almost immediately. There was no point in leaving the room at the moment, since she couldn't leave the house.

Kyouko brought her knees to her chest as she lay under the covers of her bed in the darkened room, still holding the ringing phone. A pile of papers was stacked neatly on her nightstand, each one bearing their own little collection of words. She didn't remember when she had written them, but it had been a result of a great realization that had occurred to her at some point. She couldn't remember when though; such events escaped her. She couldn't even remember what had happened the day before, and just guessed she had been at school or something, enjoying time with her friends.

The ringing had stopped. Just like every other day.

Kyouko tried desperately to remember something, _anything_ that had happened in the last few weeks. A very vague memory finally surfaced, almost reluctantly, but she couldn't remember exactly when it had happened. She squeezed her eyes shut and put all of her concentration into deciphering the hazy event.

She had been in the Amusement Club's headquarters, reading manga and discussing seemingly random topics with Yui. Akari and Chinatsu had been assigned to help a teacher with something, so they wouldn't be there on that day.

Kyouko remembered Yui had suddenly stopped what she was doing, and came around the table to sit beside the blonde. The dark haired girl had had a thoughtful expression on it, with a hint of pain. Yui began speaking, eyes closed and hands gripping her skirt for comfort.

Ah, that's right. Yui had been asking about what she thought about girls being in love with each other. Kyouko remembered that she herself had replied that it was a "great thing" and was probably "the purest form of love". She had read about that somewhere. It wasn't a lie either, Kyouko was in love with a girl too, the student council vice president Sugiura Ayano, so naturally she would be fine with lesbians.

The next thing she knew, she was on the ground with her best friend straddling her, frantically confessing her love over and over and over. Kyouko had been shocked into complete silence, and had not been able to form words in reply. She blushed involuntarily, and Yui had suddenly gained a crazed, hungry look in her eyes that scared Kyouko.

"Hey, stop that!" the blonde had sputtered. This wasn't right. This is not what she wanted at all. Suddenly, she was being kissed. Yui attacked her with her lips everywhere. The kisses left no pleasant buzz as normal kisses would, but instead left her skin feeling tainted and uncomfortable. Kyouko's hands were pinned down under Yui's, and she couldn't defend herself as her friend attacked her mouth.

Panic struck as one of Yui's hands started to undo her uniform. She writhed around, but Yui had her head pinned down under her lips, and she couldn't rise. Unable to escape, Kyouko decided to store her energy and burst out of Yui's hold when the dark haired girl least expected it. She bided her time, all the while thinking in the back of her mind, "I don't want this, I don't want this, I don't want this!"

Just as Kyouko was preparing to break free, Yui suddenly pulled back and looked up towards the door, still holding Kyouko down. The blonde tilted her flushed face upwards and followed Yui's gaze.

Ayano had stopped in the doorway of the room, mouth agape as she beheld the scene. The purple haired girl lowered her gaze and met Kyouko's eyes. What Kyouko saw was something that she would never want to see in Ayano's eyes again; a crushing sadness that drained the very life out of her face.

The vice president's mouth moved several times, but no words came out. Kyouko wanted to explain the situation, to tell her that she didn't want this; that it was Ayano she loved. Before she could open her mouth, the dams in the purple haired girl's eyes broke, and the girl was wracked with silent sobs, her body shaking. Without warning, she turned on her heel and ran out .

There was a second of silence before Kyouko threw Yui off of her and ran after the girl. She searched everywhere in the school that she could think of. But no matter where she went, she couldn't find her purple haired girl.

The girl had not returned to school, and didn't answer her door or her phone. Kyouko herself had not returned to school for a few days afterwards, she needed time to think, and recover from such an assault. And now she didn't know where Ayano was, and she missed the girl dearly.

Realizing the silence in her room, and she faithfully dialed the phone number once more.

_Third time's the charm, right?_

Kyouko had always loved the purple haired girl, but never acted upon it directly. Instead she had showed her affection through her teasing and jokes, all the while promising that someday, she would let Ayano know of her feelings, and they would be happy together. Perhaps she had been afraid of the fact that doing so would change everyone around them, and Kyouko wanted nothing more than to continue having good times with her group of friends. So she held her tongue, and buried her feelings until the time was right.

She treasured every smile, and look that they exchanged, imagining a time where it would greet her every morning, and be the last thing she sees before falling asleep.

Kyouko felt that the time was now. If she didn't let Ayano know what had really happened, she might lose her forever, which was the highest thing up on her list of _'Worst Things to Possibly Ever Happen to Kyouko", _right next to "Being assaulted by your best friend" , "The extermination of rum raisin ice cream", and "Being hit by a low flying aircraft".

But this could all be fixed if someone would just _pick up the damn phone _and tell her where Ayano was.

But as luck would have it, the ringing stopped before anyone on the other end decided to pick it up.

Kyouko grumbled aloud in frustration, but suddenly had a stroke of inspiration. Chitose would know where Ayano was! Chitose was her best friend, kind of like what Yui was to Kyouko, minus the emotional and sexual assaults. Kyouko couldn't believe she hadn't thought of this before. Full of hope, she quickly dialed the number and put the phone eagerly up to her ear.

_Ring ... Ring ..._

"Hello?" a tired voice answered.

_Finally! I thought everybody had been banned from picking up calls from me! _"Hi Chitose-san! It's me, Kyouko!" the blonde said brightly into the phone. She sat up, sheets falling back to the bed around her.

"Yes ... I read the ID ..." Chitose answered haltingly. There was a long pause, and Kyouko wondered if the girl had fallen asleep. The white haired girl continued after a few seconds, "Y-You're ... not going to ask about Ayano-chan again, are you ...?"

"How'd you know? Chitose-san, you're amazing!" Kyouko replied happily. Finally, she was getting somewhere! "I just wanted to ask if you knew where Ayano-chan is? She wasn't at that event yesterday, and I was wondering why. I really, really need to talk to her." _Wait, was the event yesterday?_

" ... Yes, she was there ..."

"Really? I didn't see her! Well, do you know where she is now? I have something important to tell her!"

There was nothing but silence on the other end of the line. Kyouko thought for a moment that Chitose had hung up, or their communications had been jammed by some Special Forces group, but she could very faintly hear soft breathing, letting her know that her companion was still alive.

After a few long seconds, Chitose answered very quietly, "No ... I don't know where she is."

"Oh ... I see." Kyouko reviewed what she had heard, and found something very odd, "Wait, did you say 'ask about Ayano-chan _again_'? I haven't called you about this before!"

More silence. It was very unlike Chitose to be so quiet. Was there something wrong with her? Kyouko felt herself start to sweat a little. She switched her phone to her opposite ear and leaned back against the wall, waiting anxiously for a reply.

It seemed like an eternity before Chitose replied in her soft voice, "Yes, yes you have." With that, quiet, poorly suppressed sobbing was suddenly heard over the phone.

A spike of panic shot up Kyouko's spine. "Hey! Chitose-san, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Kyouko asked frantically, hunching forwards and pressing her ear harder against the phone, as if it would spur Chitose into replying faster, "Did something happen?"

The white haired girl seemingly ignored the last question, and continued with a shaky voice whilst sniffling every few seconds, "Yes! You call me every day and ask the same question! And then you call the next day as if nothing ever happened; as if you'd never asked me anything in the first place!"

"W-what? I don't understand ..." It was true; Kyouko didn't remember calling Chitose recently. The last time she had called the Ikeda had been to ask about Ayano's favourite colour, and that had been a few months ago. "I never asked about this before-"

"Kyouko-san," Chitose suddenly interrupted. Her voice had become relatively level, as if she had gathered her resolve. "Do you remember the day when Ayano had walked in on you being assaulted by Yui?"

"Yes, that's kind of part of what I want to ask; where did Ayano go after that?"

A sigh of defeat was heard from the other end of the phone, and Kyouko suddenly felt a rush of hope; Chitose would finally tell her!

"You say something like that every single time," The Ikeda chuckled sadly, "And every other time I claim I don't know where she is. But not this time. This time, I will tell you what you already know, but have chosen to deny."

Kyouko found that she was gripping her sheets with tightly clenched fists, and sweat was pouring from her body. This confused her; why was she reacting this way? For some strange reason, a part of her screamed for her to slam the phone down, to end the call right then and there. But, she thought of Ayano and how much she missed the tsundere, and held the phone to her ear for dear life, gritting her teeth as Chitose began to speak.

"Ayano-chan had just witnessed you and Yui locking lips in what she perceived to be wild, lustful passion. I had been following her, but she had run ahead because she said that she wanted to get there before her 'courage ran out'. As soon as I got to the door, I saw you two over her shoulder, and immediately felt my heart drop out of my chest.

Before I could react, Ayano-chan turned and absolutely blazed past me. I automatically saw that she had misunderstood the situation, as you had such a frightened look in your eyes, and I knew that you had not wanted it. By the time I had turned around, she was already gone, presumably back to her house. Knowing that she disapproved of missing out on school, I decided to wait until after classes had ended. By Ilmatar, that was the worst mistake I had ever made, and ever will make." Chitose drew a few breaths, being shaken by the events once more. It was a few moments before she continued.

"W-when I turned onto her street after school, there were police cars surrounding her house. I was so worried that I practically sprinted the rest of the way. Her mother met me at the door, absolutely a wreck. That's where I learned what had happened."

Kyouko felt that she couldn't move at all. Her blood was frozen in her veins, and time seemed to stand still as the colour drained from her face.

"Ayano-chan thought that you and Funami-san were in love! Imagine how she felt; after all this time, she had finally worked up enough courage to confess her feelings, and she walks into ... into _that!_ I should've known, I should've known!" Chitose's voice began to grow more panicked as she recalled what Ayano's mother had said to her.

"Ayano-chan had returned early from school, and had at some point snuck a large knife from the kitchen up to her room. She had come downstairs when her mother returned home, gave her a hug and a kiss, and_ said goodbye._ Her mother didn't know what she had meant, and the next time she saw her daughter, it was on the floor of Ayano-chan's bedroom, covered in blood, with a knife through her heart!" Chitose began to cry openly now. The wounds were reopened, but she continued on faithfully, determined to bring this to a close.

"Her mother ... she said that Ayano-chan had died with a peaceful expression on her face, with tears dampening the spots where blood had not fallen. Later, a neat stack of paper was found on her dresser. And you know what's scary? Those papers were letters for all of her friends that she had written before she committed suicide! She had even written a formal resignation letter stating that she would step down from her position as vice president! Even until the end, she took her position very seriously ..."

"Kyouko-san ... that was 4 weeks ago. The event you've been phoning me about for the past 12 days ... the funeral ... that was 2 weeks ago. So yes ... Ayano-chan was there ... it was _for _Ayano-chan ..."

Kyouko finally noticed the tears spilling from her eyes and she fought for breath, unable to form words. Her body was wracked with silent sobs as the memories finally rushed back to her. The pain was immense, and crippled her entire being.

She remembered that it was similar to the feeling when their teacher had informed them of Ayano's death. She remembered first feeling the life being sucked out of her, and being replaced with white hot rage, rage at herself for not doing something sooner, but above all, rage at her best friend for killing off her love. She remembered turning on Yui, and punching, kicking, scratching at whatever she could reach before the other girls had to hold her back. She had beaten Yui unconscious, before finally breaking down in tears and screams.

Kyouko was lucky to be let off with just a warning and a suspension, despite beating her former best friend within inches of her life. She had been confined to her house for the time being, only being allowed outside for Ayano's funeral service.

"I-it's all my fault isn't it?" Kyouko sputtered through her tears, "I'm the reason Ayano-chan's gone, isn't it?!"

"It's not your fault ..." Chitose whispered softly, barely being picked up by her phone, "Ayano-chan would never blame you. She loved you, no matter what you did, have done, or will do. Even if you ended up with Yui her wish remained the same. Even if she couldn't live without you, her wish had always remained the same ..."

Kyouko gritted her teeth, and tasted the salt of her still flowing tears.

"Her wish was for you to always be happy."

Kyouko paused, willing herself to stay in control, even if it was just for a few more seconds. _Ilmatar help me, just for a few more seconds. _"Thank you Chitose-chan," she said, willing her voice to be level, "I'm sorry ... and goodbye."

" ... Goodbye Kyouko-chan." A pause. "Until we meet again ..." It was as if she knew.

And with that, Kyouko ended the call and wailed as she broke down once more into tears. _It hurts. It hurts. It hurts so much!_ She doubled over, and sobbed uncontrollably into her sheets, already dark from the tears she had shed from the days before. She clawed at the bed, trying desperately in vain to ease her suffering.

Ayano had loved her too. And she had been caught in an irreparable situation that had caused Ayano to remove herself from her life. That's what hurt the most. If only she'd, if only ...!

Kyouko didn't know how much longer she lay there, but the same resolve that had spurred her to write the letters by her bed returned, and forced her tears to stop. It couldn't be like this anymore. The good old times had come to a close.

Slowly, Kyouko sat up and set her phone down by her bedside. Down beside a neatly folded piece of paper covered in neat handwriting; Ayano's final letter to her. She unfolded the paper shakily, and through red, moist eyes, began to read the lines that she had read over a thousand times before during the past 4 weeks, denying them everyday, and yet knowing them all by heart.

_Dear Toshinou Kyouko,_

_I'm sorry to have left in such an abrupt fashion, but it had to be done. Although I'm thrilled that you've finally found the love of your life, I can't help wondering what it had been like it had been me instead. Those thoughts, thoughts of being happy together were what kept me going through whatever I was doing._

_Even as I write this letter, I can't help but feel envious of Funami-san; she's your best friend, your protector, grew up with you, and saw sides of you that no one else ever did. Oh, how much I wished that it had been me growing up with you, instead of her. But, I never had a chance against her; I knew that from the start._

_I know what I have done was selfish, but it will be the last selfish thing I ever do. I'm shaking right now, Kyouko. Hey, I never called you Kyouko, have I? I was always so embarrassed to. I'm sorry I was never honest with my feelings, but there's something I will confess right now._

_I love you Kyouko. I always have from the start, and I always will, no matter where I am. Please remember that, but don't blame yourself for what I did today. This is my path; I must follow it, because it seems we were never meant to be._

_I sincerely hope that you all will soon forget about me, the girl who never could really express her feelings; the pathetic girl who chose the easy way out of this pain. Please continue to have good times with your friends._

_I think I'm at peace now, Kyouko. Those beautiful moments I lived together with you I will treasure forever. These memories will fill the gaps in my heart, so I will surely be alright. So until the day we meet again, I'll do my best to watch over you, Kyouko._

_Thank you, I love you._

_Thank you._

_Sincerely, Sugiura Ayano_

Kyouko folded the letter neatly, and lay down with her eyes skyward, placing the paper by her head. Her mind was clear now, her sorrow was lost. It was time to bring the good times to a close. Drying her tears, she whispers, "This will be the last heart I'll ever break while I'm alive."

She reached over the stack of farewell letters on her nightstand that she had written, and grasps the handle of a large kitchen knife that she had retrieved some time ago. Raising it high over herself and clasping it with two hands, she aimed the tip towards her own heart. Her hands are steady with resolve, and she no longer quakes with fear.

Toshinou Kyouko smiles tearfully as the image of her late love arises in her mind. "I love you," she whispers, "And I'm sorry."

"Wait for me."

[~]


	2. Instead of Goodbye

[~]

The pain had been intense, beyond any sort of human comprehension. Her last moments had been wracked with pain, blood splattering everywhere. She had taken her last breath with a laugh, a relieved laugh; the time had finally come.

And as Kyouko lay on the soft grass of some transcendent world, clothed in a resplendent white dress, brilliant light shining in her eyes, and light breeze kissing her skin, she found that it was all worth it. For it was because of the girl standing with her back to her, purple hair flowing untied in the wind.

Happiness rose in Kyouko as she leapt to her feet and ran towards the girl yelling, "Ayano-chan, Ayano-chan!" As she ran, all the weights of her life slowly disappeared, leaving her a free spirit.

Ayano turned around and was tackled into the grass by the blonde, "H-hey, Toshinou Kyouko!"

"Happy to see me?"

"That was really stupid of you! You left all of your friends and family behind ... just for me." Ayano blushed and tried to look angry, "And that was terrifying to watch you kill yourself!"

"I don't care, I don't care," Kyouko sang happily. She was finally free from the shackles of her sorrow, and finally with the one she loved. "It's worth it; I love you, I love you!"

Ayano blushed harder and lowered her head, "I – I, shouldn't have done that ... I was only thinking of myself ... and I wasn't thinking straight because I thought ... I thought ..." She started to tear up.

Kyouko silenced her, kissing the girl's lips softly and lovingly. Her mind went blank as Ayano began to return it with force, and desperate passion. Oh, how long she had yearned for this. Breaking free, they stared at each other as they fought to catch their breath, a string of saliva bridging the gap between their lips.

"I don't care." Kyouko repeated firmly, running her hands through her love's hair, "We're together now; it doesn't matter where we are, but it's all that I ever wanted. I love you Ayano-chan, more than anything."

Ayano nodded shakily, closing her eyes as they brimmed with tears of pure happiness. "Kyouko ... " She swallowed, gathering her courage.

"I love you too."

And in their own corner of Ilmatar's realm, the two lovers were finally reunited for the rest of eternity. Maybe one day their friends would join them, but for now, all they needed was each other.

[~]

Ikeda Chitose set down her phone slowly. She knew that this was going to happen, but she also knew that there was nothing in the world that could change that girl's mind now. She smiled tearfully as she thought of the two, living happily together wherever they were. She had lost two friends too soon, but despite such a tragedy, it felt right. Their shattered hearts would now become whole.

Sighing shakily and feeling tears sliding down her face, Chitose folded her hands with her closed eyes skyward, "Until we meet again, I won't ever forget you two. However, come see me in my dreams every once and a while, okay?"

"Goodbye, my dear friends."

[~]


End file.
